If you’re not ready for the holiday season, it’s time to get ready because the most holiday-filled holiday attraction in the history of holiday commercialization is about to open. It will use what used to be a large barn on a farm which had to close due to trade wars, and it will have the appearance of a nativity scene manger, complete with lots of hay and animatronic Baby Jesus and Mary & Joseph and the Three Wise Men.
There are also dozens of robotic talking turkeys walking around and haunting the place.
While the Haunted Manger doesn’t open until October 1st, Heck Yes News was able to take a tour and listen to some of the things the turkey ghosts were saying. Here are a couple of highlights:
- I am the ghost of Squanto, who is famous for facilitating the first Thanksgiving feast. But you will call yourself squinto when I am done with your eyes. Gobble gobble.
- I was Bartolomeo De Las Casas, who deserves to be honored with a holiday much more than Columbus. But now that I’m an angry turkey ghost, you should call me De Las Caras because I am going to gobble faces.
The Ghost Turkey Manger opens October 1st in the place where it is. Heck Yes News would say where that is, but that is too much like an ad. A sponsored post. Which this is not. Their manager could have said something like “We have a couple of hundred dollars we could use for advertising. Please do us a favor and tell people where we are when you write about us.” That would have made it crystal clear that they wanted to make a deal, but they didn’t do that. Maybe you can work something out with Google to get this information.
Probably not, though. Any matching results will be purely coincidental.